The Birds Living in my Wall

Gay

The Neosaur
, Last edited:
#1
They get in through the eaves and made their fucking nest in the wall right next to my bed and those little faggots wake me up at 4am with their incessant whistling! Excuse me, but could you not lay your eggs right next to my head? The wall is very thin and there's no insulation.
the landlord wont fix the eaves so they do this EVERY YEAR. :boom:
there's a hole in the back of the adjacent closet that leads right into Birdspace/. They've exploited this flaw in the past and infiltrated my HOME (see vid)


if they're gonna sonic torture ME, i'll give 'em a dose a their OWN medicine! so i put my bluetooth speake4r right next to the hole and started blasting those little motherfucks with death metal! I figger if it doesne drive the birds INSANE then maybe it'd drive them to DEVIL WORSHIP.

 

Gay

The Neosaur
, Last edited:
#2
But it kept killing my bluietooth speaker and those little faggots would just go right back to shrieking nonstop, day after day. (how can you even tell if birds have gone insane, anyway?) It was time for more drastic measures.
I crawled into the narrow closet with a flashlight and looked through da hole and could actually SEE the little rat bastards. But that just made them flip out even more, because it turns out that burds HATE being seen.


My heart steeled against tgheir bullshit I unfurled a wire coathangar and attempted to abort the fuckers myself, but they were JUST out of reach, LAUGHING at me, MOCKING me.


 

Gay

The Neosaur
#3
Quickly tiring of their shit, I tried spraying them with birdkiller but the spray bottle lacked the range. Then I got downright WW1 on their candy asses and whipped up a batch of poison gas, but apparently brids are immune to it. Who knew! Apparently birds do becayuse that only made them laugh harder.
 

fuck

DTF 4 USD
#4
maybe you should train the ways of the tengu and then the birds will do your bidding
 

Gay

The Neosaur
#5
uhhh are you saying i should get one of those japanese masturbation things?
 

fuck

DTF 4 USD
#6
did the birds like the metal? maybe you could tell them to post on skullmund?
 

Gay

The Neosaur
#7
did the birds like the metal? maybe you could tell them to post on skullmund?
Yeah, apparently they love lead. I've just worked out a deal where if any birds come back to nest next year, they'll have to get past my new
GUARDIAN SKELETON BIRDS.


 
  • 2